An Experiment- Five Minute Friday

11 Oct

Dear Friends,

Don’t ask me how I found out about Five Minute Friday, because I don’t remember. But I’ve decided to give it a try right now.  Check out lisajobaker.com to learn more. Every week, she posts a theme to write on for five minutes straight, no editing. The theme this week is “Ordinary”. GO.

———

She stared at him, his square jaw and styled-with-too-much-gel hair, the blue button-down shirt and jeans that didn’t flatter. She took that deep breath, the one that hurts because of real heartache, and in that moment, realized that he was not the one, or at least not the one she wanted.

Two hours earlier:

The conversation had begun typically. “Do you want to share the egg scramble and bacon, again?” he asked as they sat down in the booth with the worn red vinyl benches. “Yeah, and I want some of those yummy beignets, too, if that sounds good to you?” she replied cheerfully. “Sure, yeah.” It was only after they ordered and sipped their coffee until it was about half way gone that the mood changed noticeably. “So,” she said, “I was thinking that this weekend we could go look for a couch for the new apartment.”

“Um, ok, well, I’m not totally sure when I can, cuz I’m trying to finish that work project,” he answered, as he spun his spoon in his mug a little too fast. “Ok, um, well, do you want me to go alone? I mean, I could do a little shopping and then show you some favorites? I just feel like before I sell my old couch I’d like to know what we’re getting.”

After a long silence that spilled through the meal and into the walk to the car, she finally had the guts to ask.

“Are you having second thoughts about moving in together?”

Several minutes later, after they returned to his apartment, they sat facing each other at the dining table, and he finally said it.

And she said back, while the proverbial slap across the face was still stinging, “what do you mean, you’re afraid I’m too ‘ordinary’?”

———

I am always saying I want to write more, and I think Five Minute Friday prompts might be a great way to ease into it. It is vulnerable to share writing to a broad audience, especially unedited! But, here goes. 🙂

Thanks for reading!

Blessings,

Dana

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8 Responses to “An Experiment- Five Minute Friday”

  1. Kera October 11, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

    What a great portion of a story! It makes me want to read more…like this could be an excerpt from a book. I like your take on the prompt for this week 🙂 Found you through the Five Minute Friday link up ~ have a great weekend!

    • Dana October 12, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

      Thank you, Kera! Thanks for reading!

  2. Steve Isaacs October 11, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

    Couldn’t relate to it, since I’ve always been the one broken up withJ

    Enjoyed the writing though. Keep it up.

    • Dana October 12, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

      🙂 Thanks Dad!

  3. Sky Nelson October 11, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

    What a great piece! I love the line “After a long silence that spilled through the meal and into the walk to the car, she finally had the guts to ask.” The imagery is so perfect for what she is saying.

    I guess the challenge of being married to a writer is always wondering how much of the story is about me…

    Keep going!

    • Dana October 12, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

      HAHA honey… it’s always about you. (Just kidding.)

  4. Leslie Isaacs October 11, 2013 at 10:19 pm #

    I thought your writing was wonderful as was your idea of how to use the word “ordinary”. It was a very poignant piece that spoke to very deep emotions and feelings of worthiness….not an easy subject. It was a mini short story. Great.

    • Dana October 12, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

      Thanks, Mom! It was fun to write.

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